Holiday seasons around the corner. As the year comes to an end, I tend to reflect on the overall mood, behaviours and experiences that come with it. And it was quite the journey.
January started off well, with previous achievements from the year before comes to fruition. Discipline standards was met, and I performed better than ever.
February, the beginning of the end. This is when Covid-19 was starting to surface as an immediate danger to society. Heightened senses and confusion were sensed and degradation started to follow especially when you have peers in the medical industry who see these patients ground zero.
March, goodbye Slipknot tickets, concert got cancelled. Data files from my office had to be backed up in preparation for an announced lockdown. Though it was suspicious on my end already as the timing of the pandemic and the closure was timely.
April, remote work. Imagine doing visuals and communicating through phone calls. Most stressful and strenuous thing ever as interpretation was from 2 completely different senses. Already tried suggesting messenger platforms and met with resistances. Seemed futile so I just went ahead with the old-school communication tool. Couple that with the stress of the lockdown and pandemic.
May, loss of job, incomes and half my face to bell’s palsy. Imagine being punch on the side of your face and then not being able to feel it at all for about a month. That is the experience I get.
June, relief my possessions from my workstation and received much needed aid. Waking up daily to your side of your face drooping with eye tears and not being to feel or smile is the worse feeling. It is like being Two-Face when you look in the mirror.
July, I recovered from bell’s palsy, but mental health was fragile from the aftermath of the incident. Started looking out for gig’s or jobs with little success. Also, the lockdown affected the brain’s vision, having only a focal view instead of a panoramic view.
August, pretty lull at this period, Besides the crazy amount of gaming in which I had a good time rekindling with people around the world and realizing we are not so different. Afterall, we are experiencing the pandemic just in a different landscape altogether.
September, fear, and panic set in again, no job, relief aid was finished after paying dues. Started gigging doing delivery. A last resort option. An option I do not like for previous incident years ago that almost made me lose my fingers. Started out well though until I start doing after midnight deliveries. Nothing good comes after midnight and never trust your thoughts after those wee hours around 3am.
October, birthday month. Wow, yippeekayay. That is all I have to say. Started simulating my workstation from former office to home. Signed up to be an aspiring developer. That is how I am going to achieve my life goals and objectives.
November, brain muscles started to function at pre-Covid-19 state levels. Received job offers and prospects. This is where work experience comes in. Got to know what you are signing up for and whether you can fit into the company. Those offers? Either they do not want it to conflict with my aspirations or it was damned.
December, vaccine news has surged the number of people going out exploring places again as I observed weekend after weekend going out. Although, I did observe some heightened behaviour still from some people.
To sum up, I just accept myself and be cool about it. I do not want to be Two-Face. I do this by compartmentalising negative thoughts, stress indicators and anticipating anything has helped me mature to this state of mind. Body? Since I still do not get any fitting job offers, I guess you can say back to gigging deliveries as well. Last two month of working and exercising helped. So that the physically demanding nature of the job can be met. As for the soul, I am a man of science.
As for moving forward to the new year, will I go back to the past? No.
Do I intend for a healthier, better future? Yes.
Will there be challenges and obstacles ahead? Sure.
Do I have a fixed or growth mindset? Growth.
How do you see yourself in 10 years time? Happy.
Live Long and Prosper
Let’s end the year well
Just one more simulation before I get back to reality. I can control it now.
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